Yes God, it’s me Lexi and I can hear you

If you read my other blog, The Motherload, you know that I self describe myself as currently living out my quarter life crisis.

I thought I was being clever when I penned that description. Turns out that this terminology is not something I created, but is a seriously studied matter! I realized this while at the book store looking for “The Happiness Project” a book my book club is reading. Two books about the “Quarter Life Crisis” phenomenon. I felt like the books were talking to me:

  • How do I weigh doing what I love versus making money?
  • How do I know if I’m dating “The One”?
  • Why is it so hard to find friends?
  • How do I stop comparing myself to other people?

(If you are one of my twenty-something friends, we’ve talked about all these things. More than once. I’m sure.) The book spoke to me, so I bought it. I’m hoping to gain something from it, if only to feel like I’m more normal than I give myself credit for.

Then I get home and open “The Happiness Project” and read the authors realization that she always felt she would outgrow her limitations (twirling her hair (I do it too) wearing running shoes everyday (or flip flops/uggs, but me too), remember friends birthdays (Facebook helps with this a lot), and learn photoshop (I’m still eeking my way through “Photoshop for Dummies” but I don’t know how to open a picture in the program…go figure) She then takes hold of my heart when she says, “I realized I was in danger of wasting away my life…..I didn’t want to wake up one day and think, man I’ve had a good life. I wish I had known then how good it was”

HOLY COW.

Dear Lord, I know you are speaking to me. And you are trying to help me to be a better person, and that part of being a better person is to be more accepting of my own shortcomings. I also know that this season in my life is a learning period, and that I will be eternally thankful for the lessons I’ve learned (read: how to deal with water in the basement and what constitutes a ‘real’ emergency) But please, dear Lord, if I could have a more clear understanding of what my path is going to be I could sleep easier at night. Because I feel like I’m drifting, and maybe drifting is what we all need every once in awhile to figure things out, but it’s not very socially popular so if we could turn my drifting into something seemingly more productive, I’d really love that. (Like that Copywriter Job at Stonewall Kitchen, that would totally make my drifting seem intentional- and be worth it, and I just know I would totally rock at that job and be happy to boot) And just so you know, I’m trying to help myself- since I do totally believe in the whole “God helps those who help themselves” thing…. But you know, divine intervention would be fantastic too. Also, if you could check in with Grammie and get her thoughts, I’m sure she has an opinion (as does every other person in the family) She’s probably sipping her Manhattan thinking “quarter life crisis what a crock of bologna.” And she might be right, but I sure don’t feel that way…..

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